Some pervasive myths say that, while men are always sexually driven, women are not. This is entirely inaccurate. It is perfectly normal and natural for women to want sex. In fact, if you’re a woman who is experiencing a low sex drive, something may be amiss.
Here what you need to know about your sex drive and how to increase your drive:
What Is Normal Sex Drive?
Before we dive into tips, take a look at what’s normal and not normal when it comes to sex drive. A woman’s sex drive can vary depending on several factors, including age, stress level, pregnancy status, time of the month, and even other systemic conditions. There is no such thing as a universal metric for a “normal” sex drive in many cases.
However, if you think that you have a low sex drive, or if your sex drive has recently decreased, there may be a reason.
Tips to Increase Your Sex Drive
If your sex drive is low, there are a few things that you can try to give your libido a boost, including:
1) Eat Your Fruit:
Figs, bananas, and avocados are thought to increase libido in women by promoting blood flow to the genitals and increasing sensitivity. While the science on these is a little shaky- there’s not much data available about what fruits are and are not aphrodisiacs for women- there’s no harm in trying.
2) Grab Some Chocolate:
Besides being delicious, chocolate is typically perceived as a treat, and eating chocolate can release happy hormones like serotonin in the brain. While the aphrodisiac effects of chocolate are known, scientists are still unsure whether the results are more biochemical or psychological. Does it really matter if it works?
Try having a chocolatey treat with your partner before you get busy. In fact, feeding each other chocolates can be a fun form of foreplay.
3) Avoid Overindulging in Alcohol:
While a glass of red wine, or your favorite drink, can be great for making you feel relaxed before lovemaking, too much alcohol might make you feel tired, depressed, or unfocused. If your low libido consistently coincides with nights where you’ve had one too many, consider limiting your alcohol intake to see whether or not this is the cause.
If, after limiting, or even eliminating, alcohol, your sex drive increase is still not happening, consider another potential cause.
4) Be Honest About the Cause:
There are many potential causes for a low sex drive in women, but before you start to worry, ask yourself whether you are genuinely at fault. For instance, if your relationship with your partner has been strained recently, maybe you just don’t want to sleep with someone if you’re not on great terms. If you suspect this is the case, talk to your partner, and work to remedy your relationship.
On the other hand, maybe it isn’t your libido but your partner’s skills that should be questioned. Unfortunately, many women are still afraid to speak up when they aren’t getting what they want and need in the bedroom- and some may even ignore pain during sex to please their partner. Over time, however, that possibly unpleasant or dull sexual experience may not seem like it’s worth the effort, which may be mistaken for low sex drive.
Remember, sex should be pleasurable for both you and your partner, and if it’s not, you have to speak up and make changes. One way to know that your sexual relationship is the cause of your low sex drive is if you still feel aroused and maybe even masturbate but don’t feel as excited about having sex with your partner.
5) Get Your Z’s:
Let’s be honest; you’re less likely to want to do anything if you’re tired. If you’re consistently low on sleep due to work or kids, consider maybe sneaking in a nap before any potential sexual activity. And, if you’re too tired, be honest and let your partner know.
One way to tackle low sex drive due to lack of sleep even if you’re super busy is to find a way to sleep with your partner’s support. Working out a plan where you and your partner can get your rest can reassure your partner that exhaustion is really the reason and not just an excuse.
6) Make Time for Stress Relief:
While some women do use sex as stress relief, others don’t want sex when stressed. Both are perfectly normal. If you fall into the latter category, make sure you’re making time for self-care and relaxation.
7) Get In the Mindset:
Sometimes, low libido can result from being in the wrong headspace. If you’re thinking about work or bills, you’re probably not going to want to have sex- it’s that simple. Instead, try to give yourself a mental break or do something fun.
8) Put In Some Exercise:
Exercise helps you become healthier overall. In addition to being good for your heart and releasing endorphins, exercise can also help you boost your libido.
9) Try an Herbal Remedy:
Herbs like saffron, maca, and ginseng, are thought to help you naturally increase your sex drive. Remember, if you’re trying an herbal remedy, make sure to let your doctor know-especially if you’re taking medications for something else- and make sure to use it as directed.
10) Talk to Your Doctor:
If you’ve tried a few things, and nothing seems to work, or if you feel like your low sex drive might have a medical explanation, it’s time to speak with your doctor. While talking about sex with a stranger can be embarrassing, it is necessary. Your doctor might then recommend a pelvic exam, blood work, and other solutions to help you get your libido back.
- There are many reasons that women might have a low sex drive.
- If your sex drive has changed recently and is accompanied by other signs and symptoms, consider seeing a doctor.
- Exercise, relaxation, and getting enough sleep can all help boost sex drive.