Your Guide to Prostate Play

Your Guide to Prostate Play

Whether you love it, hate it, or have no idea what it’s about, prostate play is definitely a topic to consider if you’re interested in men. If you want to know more about stimulating the prostate, and the associated benefits, you’re in the right place.

Before We Start

Prostate play is not for everyone, and you’ll want to be honest with yourself and your partner about your comfort levels. While there’s nothing essentially wrong with prostate play, just like there’s nothing wrong with anal play, some people simply don’t want to do that particular activity, which is also perfectly fine.

What Is the Prostate?

The prostate is a small gland located near the reproductive tract and can be accessed via the anus. The gland itself is about the size of a walnut.

Who Has a Prostate?

Traditionally, only men are thought to have a prostate gland, which functions as a part of the male reproductive system by secreting fluid. Women have a collection of small glands, such as the Skene’s gland, in the general area where the male prostate is located. This is sometimes referred to as the female ‘prostate’.

However, literature and reference vary on the topic, and in most cases, women are not considered to have a prostate. Instead, women have other glands that have been identified, albeit not thoroughly studied in a formal setting, that may have a similar function to the prostate.

What Is Prostate Play?

Prostate play is a sexy prostate massage done between romantic partners where one partner stimulates the other’s prostate. A prostate massage may be done between romantic partners or in a therapeutic setting.

Benefits of Prostate Massage

benefits of prostate massage

Science says that there are benefits to massaging the prostate, though whether the massage must occur for therapeutic or erotic purposes isn’t entirely clear. According to current anecdotal literature, prostate massage is thought to help clear out the prostatic duct, a pipeline that runs between the prostate and the urinary tract, which also includes the other reproductive organs. This is because the prostate massage, when done correctly, produces a secretion of fluid that helps clear the ducts within this channel.

Keep in mind that the above assumption is based on individual cases and stories and not in-depth studies. However, when done correctly, a prostate massage will also increase pleasure during sex, which is a benefit that everyone can probably get behind.

When Can a Prostate Massage Help Medically?

Several conditions may be alleviated by massaging the prostate. These are: 

Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH):

benign prostatic hyperplasia

This basically means enlargement of the prostate, which isn’t actually harmful but can be uncomfortable because it may press on the bladder. Common symptoms of BPH are the increased need to pee at night or during the day, difficulty urinating, or losing control of the bladder. BPH can happen due to age in men over 50 but can also be due to other causes like inflammation. It is important to note that a healthcare provider should always diagnose Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH) because the above symptoms can also be due to prostate cancer.

It is thought that massaging the prostate can alleviate the symptoms of PBH and possibly slow the growth of the prostate.


This is inflammation of the prostate that can often feel like BPH but may also be due to infection or recurrent inflammation. A doctor must also diagnose this condition before any treatment- including prostate massage.

Erectile Dysfunction:

erectile dysfunction

This is essentially a condition that involves problems with achieving and, or maintaining, an erection. Before modern erectile dysfunction treatments, prostate massage was used to alleviate this condition. While prostate massage is not currently the treatment of choice for erectile dysfunction, it is still something to consider, especially if you’re at risk for the side effects from other treatment modalities such as Viagra.

Best Ways to Safely Massage the Prostate

Massaging the prostate is fairly simple: insert a finger into the rectum, locate the prostate, and massage gently. In a professional setting, the finger in question would be gloved and lubricated. If you’re doing this in a private setting, a glove is also recommended, but lubricant is required.

Tips for Recipients:

First of all, cleanse- no one likes to massage a dirty prostate. But, more importantly, be honest. If something hurts or doesn’t feel right, let your partner know and call a full stop or a time out. If something feels wrong, even if it felt right before, or if you’re experiencing BPH symptoms, definitely check in with your doctor.

Tips for Masseurs:

Seek feedback from the recipient because, after all, it’s their prostate that you’re massaging. This can come in the form of verbal or non-verbal cues. However, if you’re trying a prostate massage for the first time, it’s always a good idea to agree on verbal cues with your partner, especially if it’s a new partner.

Products to Try

You definitely want to find a good anal lube that works well for yourself and your partner. These are typically oil-based and a little harder to clean, but so worth the effort because they help avoid injury and discomfort during prostate and anal play.

What to Avoid

Here are a few things to avoid during prostate play:

  1. Never skip lubricant. Lubricant is super important for anything anal.
  2. Never rush. It’s better to go slow as you’re learning what your partner likes and doesn’t like.
  3. Never lie to your partner. Honesty is a must for good sex and prostate play alike.
  4. Avoid long, sharp nails. You’ll want your nails to be trimmed before the prostate play because you are sticking your fingers into your partner’s rectum and don’t want to cut that sensitive tissue.
  5. Don’t go too hard. Massaging the prostate too vigorously can be irritating to prostate.


  • The prostate is a walnut-sized gland found in men, though some publications reference women as having a collection of glands that function similarly, which can be accessed via the anus.
  • Prostate play can be a fun addition to your sexual repertoire and may even possibly carry health benefits.
  • You don’t have to engage in prostate play if you’re uncomfortable.
  • Lubrication and safety are key in prostate play.


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