Between work, school, children, and other responsibilities, it can be difficult to allot time and mental energy to what goes on between yourself and a significant other in the bedroom. If your routine between the sheets is getting a bit boring, or worse, ceasing to exist, it’s time to take action. Here are a few tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom.
Put Sex on the Schedule
Before you can spice up sex, you actually need to have time for more than just anniversary sex. This may sound silly to couples who are just getting together, but life, especially married life, has a tendency of getting in the way of bedroom time. If you and your significant other both have busy schedules, it’s time to plan a date night.
How to Spice Up the Bedroom
One of the easiest ways to spice up your sex life is to add a little something extra to your environment. The brain is one of the biggest sex organs in the body and, while some people can get down and dirty just about anywhere, setting the mood never hurts. Even a little bit of an effort goes a long way- especially when you are both busy. Try these ways to spice up the bedroom:
Clean: Nothing dampens a mood like stepping on a child’s toy or having to brush dust bunnies out of your face.
Buy New Sheets: The answer to how to spice up sex life doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, getting new sheets in a color you both like can make things a little more interesting. As you shop, keep in mind that you’ll be doing quite a bit of moving, so you’ll want something that feels luxurious but isn’t too slippery.
Add Scents: Scented candles work well to set up mood and lighting. However, if you don’t want to burn a real candle, you can always add incense, oils, and other scent-based products to your bedroom. Some scents like cinnamon are considered natural aphrodisiacs. However, you can also opt for a scent that you know your partner will like.
Play with Your Furniture: Pillows aren’t just for sleeping on or hugging. You can use a pillow to raise your partner’s hips to change the angle of penetration or use them in roleplay. While you can always buy a sex pillow, a firm pillow in your bedroom or living room will do if you’re short on time. Take a look at what you have in your bedroom and see if you can come up with a way to use it in a new and sexy way.
Play with Clothing
Wearing something extra special to date night or the bedroom can make things much more exciting. If you have an event that you both must attend, putting in a little extra effort with your clothing can leave your partner counting the minutes until you can both get home.
Try Lingerie: Finding lingerie that is both comfortable and sexy is one of the things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom. If you’re going out, wear the lingerie underneath your outfit. Not only will this make you feel sexy, but letting your partner know is going to add a little sexual tension to the entire evening.
Make the Effort: While women typically put more time into dressing up, men can also benefit from looking sharp during an outing. If you’re a man, well-fitted suit and tie, or a nice shirt can go a long way towards turning on your significant other making you the sexy husband or boyfriend.
A Note About Heels: High heels naturally accentuate the legs, and for some couples having sex in heels is an alluring prospect. However, high heels are also sharp and can snag on rugs, carpet, or bedsheets- so be a little extra careful when leaving your heels on for sexy time.
Roleplay: Dressing up as something you are not isn’t just for Halloween. If you want to do something fun in the bedroom, dressing up as a sexy nurse or pirate can be a lot of fun. To make things even more involved, go ahead and create a back story for your character or, even better, let your partner choose while you choose for them.
Explore Kink and BDSM
There are plenty of kinky things to do both in and out of the bedroom. It’s definitely prudent to do a bit of research before getting into BDSM, but there are a lot of new things to try in the bedroom that carries minimal risk and requires minimal preparation.
Talk Dirty: A few ‘inappropriate’ phrases via text message, over the phone, or simply during the day, can have you both excited to get to the bedroom.
Blindfolds: Humans are primarily visual creatures, and it’s not uncommon for our other senses to play a secondary role to sight. Once our vision is blocked, however, our other senses are heightened. Simply blindfolding your partner can make them more sensitive to your touch.
Massage Oil and Lubricants: There are plenty of fun oils and lubricants that can be used for massaging your partner. Some warm on contact; others are simply fun to lick. Depending on your preferences, you can probably pick one up at your local sex shop. If you’re not experienced, don’t be shy in asking for help.
Take the Lead: Taking the lead in the bedroom can be a fun way to expand the natural sexual dynamic that exists with your partner. Are you usually on top? Who is usually in control? You can also switch off to see who likes being in charge more, and who enjoys following orders.
Restraints: Using a tie or sash to restrain one partner’s arms or legs during sex is a great way to spice up your sex life. Just be sure that your partner is comfortable and that the restraints aren’t tight enough to cut circulation.
Consider Adding Another: For some couples, inviting another individual into the bedroom is a great way to mix things up. However, before you invite a guest into your sheets, you do want to have a long and honest conversation with your partner. If either of you has doubts, there are plenty of other things to try.
When it comes to how to spice up sex, there isn’t a single answer, and you don’t have to try every single thing on this list. However, adding a few new elements can go a long way.
Putting a little bit of effort into your environment can go a long way.
Sexy new clothes can spice up your sex life.
Don’t be afraid to experiment.
Be open and honest with your partner.