Do you know how to give a message to your partner? We’re not talking about a quick back rub or a squeeze of the shoulders. We’re talking candles, oils, and hands all over their body. Sounds good, right?
Learning how to massage can be an additional tool in your foreplay kit. It also increases intimacy and affection between partners, as it establishes that touch doesn’t just need to be about sex. Read on for our top tips for a truly sensual massage experience.
Message vs. Massage: Words vs. Touch
Massage is ideal for anyone who struggles with what to say in the bedroom or even how to say romantic things with sincerity. “I love you” is nice but can be dismissed after a bad day or if you feel like you’ve said it too much.
Touch builds trust and intimacy. Increasing the ways you touch your partner allows them to open up to you more and lets you show them how you truly feel – or what you truly want. Touching produces oxytocin, the love hormone, which helps partners bond and feels genuine affection towards each other.
The Benefits of Massage
As well as helping you feel closer with your partner, a good massage can also:
- Reduce stress
- Release muscle tension
- May improve your memory
- Help you find or learn your partner’s erogenous zones
- Lead to amazing sex
When you and your partner feel warm and relaxed, you’re both likely to be more aroused and enjoy sex more. Being relaxed could even lead to better orgasms.
How to Give a Good Back Massage
Learning how to give a back massage isn’t as complicated as you might think. There are a few key things to look out for:
- Never press directly on the spine.
- Start with a soft touch and ask if your partner wants more pressure.
- Watch out for winces or signs of tension.
- Use your whole hand rather than putting all your pressure through one finger or thumb.
Back Massage Techniques
There are various massage techniques for the back. Try one at a time or a combination, and listen to your partner to find out which they love the most.
- Hot Stone Back Massage: Get a kit and follow the instructions. This involves gently heating rocks and placing them at pressure points to ease muscle tension and provide a sensual experience. Not for beginners.
- Petrissage – Gently or firmly rubbing the muscles in a similar way to kneading bread, to loosen and relax them
- Effleurage – Long, gliding strokes, which can be good if your partner’s back is too sore for actual pressure. Plus, it’s very sensual and helps you spread the oil.
Massage for Arms and Legs
Gently stroking the skin on the arms from the wrists to the elbows, then to the shoulders or armpits can be very sensual. It may tickle, so go with what your partner likes. The legs are full of sensitive spots, especially around the knees, back of the knees, and inner thighs. Trailing your fingers up the inner thigh or gently massaging the muscles of the thighs can be a form of foreplay, as you deftly avoid the areas your partner might be hoping you touch.
10 Tips for the Most Relaxing Massage
Ensure you’re relaxed, or you won’t be as good at getting your partner to relax. They will sense your tension or nervousness, and it will make them tense, too.
2) Lower the Lights
Set the mood by turning the lights down or switching to a lamp. It’s hard to relax under bright, fluorescent lights!
3) Experiment With Fragrance
Use candles or oils safely to provide the right fragrance and ambiance. Lavender promotes relaxation. Geranium promotes a sense of peace. Rosemary is uplifting. Find what works for both of you.
4) Choose the Right Massage Oil
Good massage oil should glide over the skin but still feel like your hands are touching your partner. It shouldn’t be thick or greasy. Always warm a little in your hands, or keep the bottle warm in a bowl of warm water.
5) Try Massage Tools
As well as your hands, you could try a massage tool. Many of these are designed to work on pressure points or gently roll over the skin and muscles.
6) Sex Toy Massage Tools
Did you know a vibrator makes an excellent massage tool? The vibrations can ease tension in the muscles, plus you’ve got those toys handy for later if needed!
Check-in with your partner. Do they want more pressure? Less? More oil? Make a note of where they make satisfying noises so that you know to revisit those places often.
8) Work From the Top Down
Start with your partner laid on their back, and work downwards from the neck and shoulders. Presumably, you won’t have a professional massage table for this and are likely to be on the bed, so get them to have their head on one side and move it every few minutes to prevent stiffness.
9) Don’t Forget the Front!
When you have thoroughly massaged their back, arms, legs, and feet, get them to roll over. Work your way back up from the toes and see where it goes.
10) Embrace Escalation
If your massage only lasts a couple of minutes before your partner is moaning and asking for something more, that’s a sure sign that the power of your touch is both calming and arousing. Don’t feel bad that you didn’t get to give your partner the full experience of your new massage knowledge – embrace the escalation, enjoy the moment, and look forward to the next time you can massage them.
Take your home massage skills to the next level! Use a mixture of firm and gentle touches, tools such as oils, plus plenty of time to give the best massage at home to your partner. Or teach them how to give you one!