You’ve probably heard of foreplay, but do you know what it means? Maybe you are trying to take your foreplay up a notch and are looking for some new ideas. Whether you’re new to the concept of foreplay or simply want to go a little deeper, you’ve come to the right place! Here’s what you need to know about foreplay.
What Is Foreplay?
According to sexologist Tanya Bass, Ph.D., the most well-known definition of foreplay is “the sexual acts or behavior prior to penetrative intercourse or sex.” According to this definition, foreplay can also include oral sex, mutual masturbation, and the use of toys. However, foreplay can also include anything that happens before you even come in physical contact with your partner. This can consist of eye contact, speaking, texting, or even role-playing.
Keep in mind that this is just one definition, but in general, foreplay is anything sensual that happens before the actual sex. If your definition of sex includes oral, then foreplay is everything before oral or penetrative sex.
Why is Foreplay Important?
Foreplay is actually extremely important for you and your partner’s sexual health. Foreplay helps ensure that you and your partner are appropriately aroused by the time actual intercourse happens and helps you bond with your partner by allowing you to do things to entice and pleasure each other.
Foreplay can also help you achieve more intense orgasms for when you actually have sex. Plus, it’s fun!
Foreplay as the Main Event?
While sex is typically the main event, foreplay might be as enjoyable or even more enjoyable for some people than sex. There’s nothing at all wrong with enjoying the foreplay more than sex, and if that’s the case, you should definitely let your partner know. Just be honest about it, and your partner, who most likely wants to please you, will understand.
Foreplay in Pop Culture
Generally, pop culture sends mixed messages about foreplay. Sometimes it’s a pretty important component of sex, and other times, you might have heard that it was unnecessary. Whatever you heard, you do want to give foreplay a chance.
How to Engage in Foreplay?
First, you have to make sure that there’s consent. If you genuinely think that your partner will enjoy the sexual advance, you can go ahead. However, if this isn’t a person you know well, asking first is probably a good move. After all, you don’t want to flirt with someone who isn’t quite in that same mindset.
Other than that, however, you have plenty of options when it comes to foreplay. The options can come in the form of texting, speaking, or something a little bit more intimate. Don’t be afraid to experiment, and don’t be afraid to try something new. If the new thing is not for you and your partner, you don’t have to keep engaging in that specific type of foreplay.
Ready to dive into foreplay but not quite sure where to start? Here are a few ideas. Pick something that works or get inspired to start something new.
Sending something suggestive, slightly naughty, or really naughty can give you and your partner something to look forward to when you get together. The texts can be slightly suggestive or outright dirty, depending on your comfort level. Remember, however, to be considerate of your partner’s environment. You don’t want to send anything inappropriate if you think that family or coworkers will view your text.
New to sexting? Start with something simple like ‘I can’t wait to see you’ or ‘can’t wait for tonight,’ and if you and your partner are comfortable and if the situation is appropriate, you can move on to more suggestive alternatives.
Grabbing a quick video call if you can’t see your partner right now can be a great way to build anticipation for a future meeting. Again, you’ll want to make sure that you and your partner are both comfortable and in an appropriate environment before initiating. However, after that, you can talk dirty or put on a show.
Dirty talk isn’t just for phone calls or video calls. If you have the opportunity to be with your partner in person, go ahead and whisper something dirty in their ear. If it can be something you want to do to them or want them to do to you. If you’re with a newer partner, start gently first.
Feeding your partner can be quite a bit of fun, and it can help build trust if you and your partner have just gotten together. Plus, there’s something incredibly intimate and sexy about putting something delicious in your partner’s mouth. Certain foods, such as strawberries, chocolate, and oysters, are also natural aphrodisiacs- which means that they are thought to further arouse sexual interest.
Food isn’t the only thing that you can nibble on when it comes to foreplay. Gently biting the ear or the neck can really help your partner get in the mood. You can also nibble on other sensitive areas like the nipples.
There’s something suggestive of smacking someone’s butt. A suggestive butt swat or several can help your partner get in the mood. You’ll want to aim just under the roundest part of the butt for full effect and go harder or easier, depending on your partner’s preference.
If you’ve never spanked your partner, consider discussing it first or starting with a gentle slap and asking them how they feel about the issue.
Kissing, especially French kissing, is a form of foreplay. You don’t have to limit yourself to kisses on the mouth either. In fact, kissing the neck, chest, and other parts of the body can help arouse your partner.
This can be a light role play or fun BDSM. Whatever you and your partner are comfortable with doing. Remember, if you’re trying something new, whether it be a new sex toy or new handcuffs, you’ll want to pay attention to the safety concerns because nothing dampens the mood like an emergency during foreplay.
Stimulating your partner with toys or your hands can help your partner get worked up. This can be done together at the same time with you stroking your partner while they stroke you or taking turns.
- Foreplay is anything sensual that happens before that you define as sex.
- Foreplay can be one of the best parts of sex or a preamble to help you achieve bigger orgasms.
- You can engage in as much or as little foreplay as you and your partner like.
- Consent is always necessary, even in foreplay- aim for enthusiastic consent.