We all know sex can change after marriage. But it isn’t always what you see on evening sitcoms. There are several stages to everyone’s sex life and the reasons for each change. Read on to discover what changes to expect in your married sex life as you and your partner grow old together.
How Is Married Sex Different?
Married sex changes as the couple changes. There are many factors that affect the quality and quantity of sex happening in marriage—for example, having children, going through stressful periods, age, lifestyle, and the overall quality of the relationship.
So, it’s not so much that being married makes sex different, but rather, different stages of life can affect your sex life.
How Often Do Couples Have Sex?
Most couples report having sex only once or twice per month. Many sex therapists recommend at least once per week to maintain a healthy sex life. However, in reality, that isn’t exactly the case. The truth is, the number of times you have sex isn’t the real issue.
Different couples may be perfectly satisfied with sex on a monthly basis, whereas others may prefer it more often. It’s not so much the quantity that counts, but the quality. Sex that is meaningful and happening between a couple with a strong emotional connection is more important than having sex every day without any emotional satisfaction.
How Often Do Different Married Couples Make Love at Different Ages?
How often do 50-year-old married couples make love? How often do married couples over 60 make love? The answer is always the same: there is no magic number. The important thing isn’t to hit a specific target. The goal is to achieve satisfaction on a physical and emotional level with your spouse.
A healthy marriage includes a healthy sex life in which both partners feel satisfied, appreciated, loved, and desired. This serves to strengthen the bond between the couple and keep the emotional connection flourishing.
How Often Should Married Couples Make Love?
The most common suggestion from most sex therapists is to have sex at least once per week. But remember, it must be enjoyable for both partners. Forcing your partner to have sex weekly to meet your quota will serve no benefit. In fact, it may even cause harm to your relationship.
Try instead to keep the focus on emotional connections and communication. Intimacy will follow.
Husband and Wife Having Sex Throughout the Marriage
Having sex throughout marriage may change several times over the years. For example, during stressful periods like when changing jobs or having a baby, sex may temporarily take a back seat. It’s not forever. It’s like a wave that has its ups and downs. Is once a month a sexless marriage? Hardly!
For example, if you’ve just had a newborn and neither you nor your partner is sleeping, it is not unusual to completely forget about having sex for even several months. Once your new lives stabilize, things should return to normal.
How Often Do New Coupes Have Sex?
A new relationship will undoubtedly encourage more sex as the experience is new. But that shouldn’t be mistaken for better sex. Sometimes, you may have less sex with your spouse than a new couple is having, but the quality of your sex is better. You understand each other’s emotional needs better and connect better. Never compare to others.
How Much Sex Does a Man Need?
The answer? Who cares? It isn’t just about him. Nor is it just about a woman. Sex isn’t a chore that must be done in order to satisfy someone else’s needs. Sex is a means of communicating and expressing intimacy with your partner. It is a shared experience that brings you both satisfaction. It should never be viewed as a privilege to offer or withhold from your partner.
Do We Need to See a Sex Therapist?
Many couples reach a point where they feel as though they are stuck in a rut and not connecting anymore. Here are a few signs that it may be time to consider seeing a sex therapist:
- You or your partner has an inexplicably low sex drive all of a sudden.
- You are having trouble communicating your sexual needs to your partner.
- Sex with your partner is not satisfying on an emotional level.
- You and your partner find it difficult to make time for sex.
- You and your spouse are struggling with an emotional issue that is hampering your sex life.
- Neither of you seems to be happy initiating.
How Can Sex Therapy Help?
If you and your spouse are struggling with your sex life, it isn’t necessarily a sign that your marriage is over. It is perfectly normal to go through phases where sex doesn’t come as naturally. You are not alone. A sex therapist can help you get down to the root of the problem and work towards improving your sex life.
How to Spice Up Your Sex Life When Married
After many years of marriage, it may seem like your sex life has become a little mundane. Sometimes, just a few minor tweaks can spice up your sex life. Here are some tips:
- Each person should focus on what they can do to bring the other person pleasure.
- Experiment with sexual role-playing.
- Ask your partner what he or she would like to do more or less of.
- Try to be spontaneous.
- Go away for the weekend and set the hotel sex mood (change of scenery can help).
- Explore your own sexual needs and pinpoint what you like and don’t like.
- Talk about it openly with your partner.
Takeaway
Marriage comes with many ups and downs – including sexual ups and downs. There may be periods when a couple has less sex and times when they are having more. It’s normal for these fluctuations to occur for a variety of reasons. The important thing to remember is that there is help you can get to get back on track.
As long as you are willing to put in the effort to work together, you will find your way back to each other. Remember, it isn’t just about sex. A good sex life comes from a strong emotional bond and good communication. Think of them as a package deal.
