When it comes to sex, women seem to be notoriously harder to please than men. However, the problem of the non-existent orgasm for women often comes from a lack of understanding on behalf of their sexual partner. If you’re looking for how to please your wife or how to please a woman sexually, here are is what you need to know.
Keep in Mind
Remember that the woman that you are sleeping with is an individual human being and that not everything on this list is going to work. Some women actually have trouble achieving orgasm during intercourse due to past trauma and other health conditions; if you suspect this is the case, you’ll need to be patient and work with your partner until she is ready.
Start With Foreplay
Foreplay is integral for anyone who wants good sex and is even more important for women. Talking about sex, touching, kissing, and stroking all help ensure that the woman in your bed is primed and ready for orgasm.
How to arouse a woman: The entire point of foreplay is to arouse your partner. Just the act of having you nearby and kissing may be enough for some women, while others may require a bit more to get in the zone.
Don’t Fear the Orgasm: Ideally, you’ll want your partner at the edge of orgasm after foreplay. However, great foreplay may result in her coming early. This is a good thing. Women can have multiple orgasms, so if she comes during foreplay, she’ll still be able to come again.
Foreplay Ideas: If you’re new to the concept of foreplay, here are a few foreplay tips and ideas to help you get started
- Tell your partner about all of the things that you’d like to do before starting. Remember, the brain is one of the major sex organs of the body, and simply imagining can be arousing.
- Hugging, kissing, and even a light nibble on the neck or earlobe is stimulating for most women.
- Spice things up with a little bit of roleplaying.
- Add a toy such as a vibrator.
- Go down on her. While oral sex can be a standalone sexual act, going down on your partner can be a fun way to foreplay while getting her ready for intercourse.
How to Pleasure a Woman
In order to please a woman in bed, you’ll need to understand what you’re doing first. Schools are great when it comes to teaching students that the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell, but lousy when it comes to teaching anatomy- especially female anatomy. If you aren’t sure of the difference between a vagina, a clitoris, and a urethra, you definitely need a refresher.
Erogenous zones: Women have several erogenous zones, or areas on the body that promote arousal, including the breasts, clitoris, neck, and inner thigh. Responses to stimulation vary between women, so you may try several zones before you get a reaction. Once you find a few spots that get a reaction, make sure that you are stimulating those zones before and during intercourse.
Try a few things: Not all women are able to come simply because a penis is moving in and out of their vagina. In fact, most won’t for fear of seeming demanding. In order to achieve orgasm, many women require stimulation of other erogenous zones, especially the clitoris.
Give her the lead: Allow the woman that you are sleeping with to tell you exactly what to do to her. This can serve as a great learning opportunity for you without having to ask a million questions.
Let her take over: Having a woman make herself come while you watch is arousing and also serves as a learning experience. How is she touching herself? Which areas is she skipping? All of these are things to watch for and emulate.
Lube up: Lubrication is extremely important for the female sexual experience. Unfortunately, not all women are quick to become wet, and some may never produce enough lubrication. Fortunately, there are plenty of options available at your local sex shop.
Edging: Edging is defined as bringing yourself or a partner to the brink of orgasm and stopping. This is done to induce a stronger orgasm and can be done several times.
Ask and Listen: If you’re with a new partner, ask them what they prefer in bed. Many women already know what does and doesn’t work for them but will often keep it to themselves unless asked directly.
How to Please a Woman Sexually if You Are a Woman
As a woman yourself, you are much more familiar with female anatomy than your male counterparts. However, keep in mind that your partner is still an individual and that the things that make you feel amazing may not work for your partner. Adding oral sex to foreplay or adding toys is also highly encouraged- especially if your partner prefers vaginal to clitoral stimulation.
Not everything you try is going to work. If something doesn’t feel good for your partner, don’t be too hard on yourself- after all, you are still learning. The worst thing you can do is give up and become focused solely on your pleasure.
Keep It Fresh
If you’re in a long-term relationship, traditional sex can get boring. Fortunately, adding an element of novelty, such as a different position or even a bit of bondage, can make sex exciting again.
Takeaways and FAQs
What do women want in bed? This actually depends on the woman. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, so you’re going to have to talk about it.
What is foreplay? Foreplay is what you do before sex. Good foreplay can improve the woman’s sexual experience
How do I keep sex with my wife interesting? For long term sexual partners, exploring new ideas is the key to avoiding monotony and achieving better sex. Adding a toy, roleplay, or even new positions can make sex interesting even if you’ve been at it for a while.
Review your anatomy. Knowing where and how to stimulate your partner makes a huge difference.